


One Hopeful Night

by LindenMiri



Series: One Snowy Evening [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Conversations, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Reincarnation, Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-01 14:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindenMiri/pseuds/LindenMiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let’s write a story about love, free of the restraint that pollutes the world in shades of anger, numbness, and revenge. Let’s write it to be limitless, to be stretching and dancing across the blue sky like a ribbon. Not perfect or innocent, not broken or selfish. Familiar, in the purest sense. This love sways and flows, it laughs and it cries. It is infinite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Strings

I can’t control it anymore, this red string that is unraveling in my heart. It’s not that I’m depressed, or that I hate myself or my family for leaving. This dull ache has been weighing on me since they died. I’ve never been entirely happy before, in a way that’s entirely artistic. I’ve accepted that. I almost enjoy this loneliness at times, but right now it’s closing in on me and my eyes are starting to burn. I’m standing by their grave and it starts to snow, of all things. I don’t even care when it gets in my hair and melts and the icy water drips down my face.

A loud sniffle breaks my concentration. It almost annoys me. Why can someone else cry so easily when I’ve been numb for years? But when I turn to look at him, all of that fades away.

I know instantly that it’s been recent. There are red rings around his eyes, prominent dark circles. His hair looks like he hasn’t brushed it in days, and his face is pale. It’s strangely, painfully beautiful how silently he cries, not even bothering to wipe at his tears. 

He meets my eyes. We gaze at each other for a little while; I can see the remnants of curiosity in his hollow gaze. His eyes are a beautiful turquoise, soft and dull, and yet I _know_ that they can sparkle, whether it be with anger or passion or happiness.

He feels strangely familiar, but I don’t comment on it. I don’t speak at all, and neither does he. We stand there, feeling strangely comforted by each other.

For the first time in years, I cry.


	2. Chapter 2: Crossed Paths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren meet again, around a year later. Levi starts dreaming about the past. Eren knows that he feels familiar, but it's going to take him a while longer to remember.

Life went on for both of us. There was no goodbye, only a parting half smile, and we were on our separate paths again. I didn't think much of it, until he started haunting my dreams.

Well, not dreams. Nightmares. They started with huge, hideous monsters that violently destroyed humanity, killing everyone that I knew long enough to care about. I woke up in a cold sweat each night, wondering why this was happening to me.

And then _he_ invaded my thoughts. He wasn't dull in my dreams. He was angry, about everything. About living in this world, about all of the people that he had lost. But he felt more than any of us. There was a spark in him that I couldn't ignore.

The nightmares became love stories. Subtle glances and touches and silly arguments turned into soft smiles, heated kissing, even _cuddling._

I knew him. I knew him from another time, place, life. I knew the gold flecks in his eyes, the freckles on his shoulders, the way that his smiles flowed and changed like flickering light. Sweet, teasing, seductive. I knew how to make him blush, how to make him smile, how to rile him up.

I knew how he died, the lively flush fading from his cheeks, the vibrancy falling from his eyes. I knew how he sounded as he cried, whispering, "I love you," before he took his last breath. I knew the feeling of being unable to stop crying, to be angry and hurt and not be able to accept the truth. I knew the taste of his blood on my lips. How Hanji pulled me away from his body as I screamed.

That's when the emptiness I usually felt began to ache and long for someone that I spent a few hours with in a cemetery on New Year's Eve.

I didn't act on it, of course, no matter how much I wanted to. My life was stable. Predictable, sometimes boring, slightly lonely, but I knew what to expect when I awoke each day. I liked that. And yet, every time I was out in public, I searched for a certain pair of striking turquoise eyes.

Life doesn't work like that, though. It doesn't satisfy your desires until you've given up all hope, when you've convinced yourself that you don't need it anymore. When you least expect it, because life is mischievous and spontaneous and even cruel.

"Jesus Christ, it's cold," I complained into my phone, trying to wrap my scarf around my neck tighter. "Why couldn't you have gotten the coffee?"

"I could've sworn you wanted to go outside. After all, you've been staring out your window all day." I could practically _see_ her smirk. "What are you thinking about? Or should I say _who?"_

I scowled, cursing her ability to read me, and grumbled, "None of your business."

I could hear her laughing, and prepared myself for more teasing. Everything happened quickly after that. One minute I was grimacing at the sidewalk, and the next it started to snow. And when I looked up, there was a very, very familiar boy in front of me.

His eyes hit me like a pile of bricks. These were the eyes that I remembered. They were sparkling and smiling brightly, and it was aimed at _me._ My breath caught in my throat as I hung up the phone immediately, trying to suppress the overwhelming happiness rising in me.

"Hi," he said. It was simple, and I shouldn't have cared as much as I did, but when he positively _beamed_ at me, it took all I could not to sprint into his arms. "Do you remember me?"

"Of course." My small smile was threatening to spread into a grin nearly as wide as his. "Do you want to walk with me?"

The words slipped out before I could take them back. His eyes brightened even more, but that faded when he checked his watch. "I've got to get back to work. Will you be here again tomorrow? I work on Monday, Thursday, and Friday."

"Yeah." I bit my lip, trying to contain my smile. "What's your name?"

"Eren," he said, smiling. _Eren._ A million images hit me at once, me saying his name thousands of times.

"Eren." Simply saying it made me warmer than I'd been in a long time. He flushed slightly when I say his name, and oh _God_ I wanted to make him blush over and _over_ again, it was so lovely. With a tiny smile, I told him, "I'm Levi. I'll see you tomorrow."

I turned away before I could do something stupid, like grab him and kiss him. Hanji would just have to deal with another brand of coffee.


	3. A Strange New Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has some conflicting feelings about the Eren in this world. (I hope artist Eren isn't too strange, but I really love writing him. I think that this is who he would be if he grew up in our world.)

My beautiful morning turned sour the minute I stepped into my office. Hanji managed to catch me smiling, of all things.

She raised an eyebrow as soon as I made eye contact with her. “What was _that_ about?”

“Nothing. Get out of my office.” But she wouldn’t. She stayed there and talked away, and it had been an _hour,_ and I was ready to kill someone.

“And then this cutie stepped ahead and paid for me, his name was Eren-”

I glanced up immediately, staring at her in surprise. I was met with a smug, delighted smirk.

“You’re blushing.”

“Did you say that he paid for you? Why did he need to? Why did you talk to him?” She was never going to let this go, I just knew it.

“Well,” she sighed dramatically. “I forgot my wallet, so it was really embarrassing when the cash register asked me to pay... He looked grumpy. Not as grumpy as you, though. Anyways. This kid stepped ahead of me and told the guy that he’d pay! He was so cute. He looked about twenty. We talked for a while. You sure shot up when I said his name. Do you know him?”

His manners had definitely improved since the last time I knew him. “Something like that,” I muttered. His smile replayed in my mind, and it took all of my strength not to smile like a love sick idiot. “What did you talk to him about?”

Her grin was _way_ too knowing. “I asked him where he’s going to college, where he works, things like that. You know, I mentioned you, and he had the same reaction that you did.”

I smiled slightly. Her grin somehow widened. “He didn’t even know my name before today.”

“So you _did_ talk to him today!” She stood up excitedly. “I knew you looked happy! What did you say to him? Are you two dating? Do you like him? You certainly seem to have a thing for him. You know, he kind of blushed when I said your name, that’s a good sign. I can help you out if you-”

“Hanji.” I glared at  her so icily that she shivered. “Get out.”

   

                        ***

 

Later I heard her talking to Erwin  about how I was starting to remember. It troubled me as I walked to the coffee shop. Why did they know before I did? Did Eren remember? Was he agonizing over it even more than I was?

And even worse, what if he didn’t remember anything? I was moody, I didn’t smile a lot, I couldn’t carry a conversation, I got too wrapped up in work and martial arts... There was no way he’d be interested in someone like that.

He was standing outside the door, leaning against the wall. He was wearing a long coat, skinny jeans, boots, and a scarf, and _God_ he looked good in winter clothing. His nose looked red. How long had he been waiting?

“Aren’t you cold?” I asked, and he jumped a little, flushing immediately.

“I’m fine! You’re only wearing a suit, aren’t _you_ cold?” It was snowing lightly, falling into his hair and eyelashes. He didn’t even seem to notice, smiling at me brightly. It felt like something inside my chest was buzzing.

“ _I_  have only been outside for a few minutes. How long have you been waiting here?”

He blushed again. “Um. About thirty minutes. I wasn’t sure what time you got off work and I wanted to spend some time outside. I like the cold.”

“It’s snowing, Eren.” I gave him a disapproving stare. “Let’s get you inside. You know you can catch colds like this. You’re not even wearing gloves.”

He bit his lip, embarrassed. “I didn’t think it would _snow_ today,” he mumbled as we stepped in. He was playing tough, but I heard his audible sigh of relief as the warmth hit him. The thought of him waiting that long just for me made me selfishly happy.

We ordered coffees; peppermint for me, gingerbread for him. He crinkled his nose at the suggestion of mine, telling me, “I can hardly stand toothpaste.”

It felt strangely comfortable as we sat down together. I noticed the paint splotches on his thin, bony hands. “Are you in art school?”

He perked up immediately. “Yeah! I was just painting with acrylics today. That’s my favorite kind of paint. What about you, do you draw or paint?”

His excitement was oddly endearing. With most people, it effectively shut down any chance of conversation. “I do martial arts and play piano. Gymnastics, too. But I don’t normally tell people that.”

Eren grinned. He didn’t smile this much in my memories, but when he did, it was directed towards me. He was always angry or focused, sometimes grieved. Besides the seductive and teasing smiles that flickered away in seconds, I only got soft ones in the early hours of the morning, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine. Those little moments kept both of us going. It was nice, but oddly strange to see him this... _normal._ “That’s a strange combination. Do you ever dance?”

Was he going to taunt me for being a male ballerina? “In the past, yeah. I haven’t done it in a while, but it’s really...”

“Beautiful.” This expression I was more familiar with. His eyes burned with sincerity. “Sometimes we do gesture drawings of ballerinas. I don’t know anything about it, but it’s beautiful. I’d love to see you dance.”

He was dreamier in this life, and it continued to catch me off guard. A sudden thought weighed me down. _I don’t know him._ I didn’t know what he liked to do, what expressions he wore most, if he was moody or calm, if he ever got that passionate gleam in his eyes that I yearned for.

I gave him a tiny, wistful smile. “Why did you recognize me?”

The question caught him off guard, but I enjoyed, no, _loved_ the way that he thought about it. “You seemed familiar.” His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked me in the eye. “I can’t explain it. I just know that I’ve been searching for you ever since you walked away. I feel like... I’ve known you before. I’m sorry if that’s weird.”

“Don’t be so formal with me.” I sipped on my coffee, bothered by his politeness and control. How could I tell him that I loved him more than anyone else on Earth and yet I didn’t know him at all? I felt almost anxious, almost disappointed, with myself and with him. Why was I craving his angst so awfully?

I could almostsee the apology written in his eyes. “Something tells me I should be.”

“I feel the same way about you, if that makes you feel any better.” But I didn’t. I wasn’t one to get anxious, but it was bubbling up inside of me. _I love you, I need you, I want to know this version of you. Please remember anything, anything at all. I_ miss _you._

That’s what it was. That strange ache in my heart. I missed it all, even the things that used to annoy me.

The strange new Eren smiled, this time more softly. “My parents passed away last year. I didn’t want to be around anyone. I didn’t think I could be consoled, but something about the silence between you and I healed me more than words could.”

He gazed out the window, and that’s when I saw the sadness still lingering in every action that he made.

“My family died three years ago in a plane crash.” I swished the coffee in my cup, finding comfort in the monotonous movement. “I haven’t been able to cry about it. You helped with that. Thank you.”

He snorted. It made me happy to hear him laugh the same way, even if it wasn’t as obnoxious or sarcastic as it used to be. “We have the opposite problem. I can never control anything.”

I smirked at him, unable to refrain from teasing. “Your crying is pretty. When your eyes are red, it brings out the green in them.”

He flushed intensely, scratching his head, a gesture he did when he was uncomfortable. It was strangely fun to see him squirm. Strangely _cute_.

“Thank you,” he responded, not meeting my eyes.  He cracked his knuckles, then fidgeted with his scarf, then bit his lip. It was taking all of my self restraint to refrain from kiss him right there.

A moment of silence passed, and then he took a deep breath, looked me in the eye, and said, “We have an art gallery on Friday. Do you want to come?”

Like I could refuse an offer that earnest. “Of course.”

I smiled. It was no grin, but at least this time it wasn’t sarcastic. He practically glowed. “Okay! I’ll pick you up, if that’s alright. I can get you here, or from your house, whatever you’re most comfortable with.”

He was worried about _me_ being uncomfortable with _him_? The thought was laughable. I rolled my eyes at him. His cheeks dusted with pink. “I’ll text you my address. Let me see your phone.”

Eren handed it over. Our fingers brushed as he did, and they were ice cold. I frowned at him disapprovingly. “Your hands are freezing.”

He shook his head like the stubborn idiot he was. “It’s not that cold, really, I-”

“Shut up.” He blinked at me, surprised, as I took off my gloves and tossed them to him. “Wear these. I don’t want you to get sick.”

He took them without a complaint, a sign that he was getting slightly more comfortable. I typed my number into his phone quickly before standing. “I’ve been sitting in the office all day. Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Yeah.” I noticed that his lips were softer in this life, always slightly curved. He looked positively angelic as he gazed at me with that warmth in his eyes, his face still slightly flushed from the cold wind.

I saw something reminiscent to the love he used to feel when he said gently, “I’d love that.”


	4. One Starry Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes to Eren's art gallery! They talk under the stars after that. Eren is slowly becoming more and more himself. If you're missing the cocky, angry Eren, don't worry. He's still in there, but not as prominent.

_**Levi**_

 

Things were starting to look up. Eren and I managed to have an actual conversation, Hanji stopped pestering me as much, and it was Friday. As much as I tried to tell myself I was more excited about not having work, the fact that I had a date kept me smiling all day.

Eren was late picking me up. When I opened the door, he was standing there, flushed and breathing heavily, his eyes wide and apologetic. “I’m so sorry, I-”

“Hush.” I smiled at him, unable to control myself. “It’s your show, you can be as late as you want.”

That seemed to comfort him. We made small talk on the way there, listening to music from his phone- I teased him about being too pretentious to listen to the music on the radio, and he teased me back that _he_ had taste.

As we walked to the gallery, Eren seemed to quiet down, a troubled look dominating his pretty features. He cracked his knuckles, a sure sign that he was anxious. “I’m not... I’m not the best in my class or anything. I’m not really a technical artist. I’m pretty good with color though.”

Didn’t he understand that I would be impressed with anything he created? “Isn’t that what makes art interesting? I prefer art that isn’t perfect.”

It was somewhat true. I prefered anatomy drawings and photographs usually, but from him, it would bother me if it was anything other than stylistically messy.

Eren relaxed at that, giving me a small, appreciative smile. “Yeah. You’re right.”

It didn’t go unnoticed that as we walked in, he moved a little closer to me, wearing that tiny little smile. I understood him completely in that moment. This was his stage.

Three or four kids attacked him the moment he walked in, grinning from ear to ear. A stoic black haired girl wearing a red scarf, a cocky boy with an undercut, a sweet looking freckled boy, and a shorter blonde boy, who was surprisingly pretty.

“You’re late,” the blonde boy scolded, but he was smiling. His voice was pleasant. Eren grinned at him, not minding at all.

“Oh shut up, like you haven’t been late to your own birthday party before.” He laughed then, as the blonde shoved him playfully. It was beautiful. A loud, pretty laugh. I found myself smiling along.

He caught my eye then, gesturing for me to move closer. “Hey guys, this is Levi.”

The cocky looking boy’s smirk grew wider. “Is this your boyfriend?”

The blush that flooded across Eren’s cheeks fascinated me more than it should have. Before I could answer for him, the black haired girl cut in, her smooth voice cold with irritation. “Jean, don’t make assumptions.”

“Sorry.” He rolled his eyes at her. She scowled as he offered me his hand. I took it, being sure to shake his hand hard. “I’m Jean. The grumpy one is Mikasa.”

“I can introduce myself, you-”

“Mikasa!” The blonde boy widened his eyes at her before offering his hand to me. His eyes were a beautiful, clear blue. “Hi, I’m Armin.”

He certainly seemed like a nice kid. I caught Eren’s eye, half smiling. He couldn’t take his eyes off of me, anxiously gauging my reaction to his friends.

The kind looking one stepped forward, smiling sweetly. “Hello, Levi. I’m Marco.”

We shook hands too. Did I really look that much older than everyone here? “Nice to meet you all,” I said.

That seemed to please Eren. Mikasa still looked incredibly wary of me, especially when I moved closer to him. Probably closer than I should have. When our hands brushed, his face _burned_.

The others scattered off in all directions, shooting Eren meaningful glances. He ran a hand through his hair anxiously. “Sorry about that. They’re, uh, pretty loud sometimes.”

“I like them. You all seem like family.” I glanced around the gallery, looking for an art style that looked like him. He fidgeted even more, and I resisted the urge to take his hand, instead opting for a playful smirk. “Lead the way.”

He did. If nothing else, Eren was courageous, even in the smallest ways. I saw the painting immediately. It was the largest on the wall, and it took my breath away.

Eren stopped in front of it, looking back to see my reaction. I couldn’t speak. It was beautiful. It was a portrait of a girl, her face tilted slightly to the left, and she was crying. Her hair was fiery red, streaked with orange and yellow. Her eyes were closed, painted the most stunning blues I had ever seen. They looked like the night sky, swirled with turquoise. Her smiling lips were painted a pale gold, her cheeks slightly touched with blue. It looked as though she was blushing. The brush strokes were choppy and square, and applied unevenly, and I loved it. I loved it more than any other art piece I had ever seen.  
  I stared at it for a long time, memorizing every uneven line, every brush stroke, every color and every imperfection.

“Eren,” I breathed, stunned to find that my eyes were glistening with unshed tears. “It’s beautiful. It’s _beautiful._ ”

His worried gaze froze for a moment as he took in what I’d said, and then his whole face brightened. He was not outright smiling, but he was gazing at me as if I had said the most important thing in the world, his eyes burning with passion, cheeks stained with pink. I loved that expression on him. He was so painfully, frustratingly lovely in that moment that I could not help but fall more in love.   

 

_**Eren**_

 

 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Levi asked. I don’t know what I want to do. I just met him a few days ago and I feel like I’ve known him for years. I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone so badly, but I’ve never been more scared. I’ve never been more thrown by someone’s compliment, no matter how simple it was.

The way that he looked at me in that moment spoke for itself. Levi was not a crier, I

was sure. And yet his eyes glistened with tears as he looked at my artwork. _My_ artwork. “I- Um. Sure.”

Oh great, and now I was stuttering. Those intense gray eyes met mine, and his soft lips curved up ever so slightly. “Do you have anything else in here?”

I shook my head. His smiles made me unable to think straight. “My teacher told me just having one would have more impact.”

“He was right.” With that, Levi took my hand- _took my hand,_ and pulled me right out

of there. My heart was racing. Where was he taking me? Was he going to kiss me? Was I even ready for this? Did I really care? No, not especially.

I caught Jean’s eye as I was dragged out. He winked at me. Levi didn’t seem to notice.

The cold winter air hit me the second the door opened, and God it felt wonderful. After a few moments of walking in silence, I said, “I heard that it’s going to snow tonight.”

Levi made a face that was slightly pouty and incredibly adorable. “I don’t like the snow. It gets in my hair and it’s messy.”

I cocked my head at him. “Are you a neat freak?”

“I guess you could say that. I’m not a _freak,_ I just don’t like being dirty.” He realized that he was still holding my hand and dropped it quickly. I didn’t miss his tiny blush as he looked the other way. “You’re an artist. I’m assuming you don’t mind?”

I grinned at him teasingly. “I enjoy having paint on my hands.”

Levi gave me a half disappointed, half withering gaze. “That can’t be healthy. What if it gets on your food by accident? Wash your hands more often.”

He was just so strange at times. He was insulting and protective, affectionate and blunt, artistic and closed off... He gave off a warning vibe to anyone that so much as glanced at him, and yet since the moment I’d seen Levi, he had treated me with nothing but kindness.

“I wouldn’t get it in my _food,_ only idiots paint when they’re eating.” I was most definitely an idiot. “Where are we going right now?”

“I just wanted to talk and watch the stars. It feels like a good night for that.” We had reached the car. He paused for a moment. “If that’s alright with you.”

Spending time with him in general was more than alright. “Of course it is. Do you know the constellations?”

He smiled a bit as I handed him the car keys. “I know a few.”

 

A few turned out to be _all_ of them. We laid on top of my car for a while, trying to point them out. He laughed at me when I whined about not being able to find any except the big dipper. “It just takes practice,” he insisted. “I’ve studied this!”

Eventually, after he showed off, we fell silent. It was a comfortable silence, one that felt familiar and acceptable. I wondered why he was already so important to me. He seemed to react to me the same way, staring at me in shock when we met the second time, knowing subtle things about me that no one else did.

I often caught the look of disappointment on his face when I did or said something. That’s what killed me. I wondered if I reminded him of someone, maybe a lover in the past, and I was constantly letting him down. I hated seeing those downcast eyes, that soft lip bite, the furrowed eyebrows. Would I ever be enough?

“Did you want to seek me out?” I murmured. “I don’t know why I looked for you again. Maybe it was selfish. You don’t have to keep hanging out with me, you know.”

He glanced over at me, frowning. The look in his eyes was almost hurt. “Where did that come from?”

“You look...” I took a deep breath. “Sometimes you look disappointed when you look at me.”

Levi froze for a moment, and then sat up, tugging me with him. He looked me right in the eye. “One day I’ll explain this to you, when you know why I feel so familiar. But right now all I can promise is that I’m going to appreciate you, no matter what. You’re different this time around, and it scares me. _You_ scare me. But it doesn’t change a thing. I’m just learning to find out who you are. It disappoints me that I don’t know you. I don’t know your expressions, your interests, your flaws.” He let out a long sigh. “I’m not making any sense right now.”

“No, you’re making plenty of sense,” I whispered. This was the man that I wanted to fall in love with. This was the man I was _already_ falling in love with, and I hardly knew him at all. “Don’t worry. We have plenty of time.”

As we lay back down, he took my hand. It felt strangely familiar, and strangely _perfect_. I had done this before. I knew how delicate and yet calloused his hands were, I knew the fluidity of his arms and the way that he’d squeeze my hand every once in a while or rub his thumb against my knuckles.

We didn’t speak very much after that, but it was one of the most memorable, beautiful nights of my life.


	5. One Impulsive Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi get closer in more ways than one.

_***Levi***_

   

            I woke up to Eren’s sleeping face. His eyelashes were even longer up close, contrasting beautifully against his tanned skin, wisps of hair tangled in them. His full lips were opened slightly, and I had to avert my eyes before I did something that I’d regret. He needed to get up, now.   

            “Eren,” I whispered. He didn’t move a muscle. Great. He was still a heavy sleeper. Memories hit me all at once, me waking him up with kisses, him smiling sleepily and pulling me closer to him, literally tugging him out of bed. Sometimes he faked it just so I’d hold him, and then he’d attack me with kisses when I least expected it. I could never get angry with him.

            I  sat up and nudged him some more. His lashes fluttered slightly. Once more, this time not so gently. His eyes flashed open, a low groan escaping his lips. He glared at me, struggling to sit up. His bed head was adorably awful. “What are you _doing_?”

            It was like I’d drank a shot of pure happiness. I’d found the best part of my life again, and he looked ridiculously cute even with a bedhead, dark circles, and a grumpy pout on his lips. I beamed at him.

            His eyes widened in shock. I’d never actually smiled for him before, but right now, I could laugh. It had been a while since I’d smiled like this, and I hadn’t felt the need to laugh in a very, very long time. “Good morning.”

            He blushed brightly, ruffling his already messy hair. “I like it when you smile.”

            That surprised me. From my memories, and even now, he seemed reserved with compliments. How did I even respond to that? “Your smiles are cuter.”

            We gazed at each other for a tiny moment, both of us surprised and blushing slightly. Since when did I blush? I cleared my throat, trying to break the silence. “Do you want to get coffee sometime this week?”

            “I’d love that.” His eyes sparkled, that smile flickering with mischief. “But I’d love it more if you’d dance for me.”

            Dancing? What if he thought I was horrible? What if I messed up in the middle of a routine? “I’m out of practice, kid.”

            Eren shook his head simply. “No you’re not. I mean you’re always dancing, even when you’re just walking around.”

            Did that mean that he noticed me like I noticed him? I knew that he was an artist in every definition. His thin wrists and graceful hands, subtle gestures, the way that he closed his eyes when his favorite song played on the radio. The way his fingers traced his jawline delicately when he was in deep thought. I wondered what it would be like to touch him again, to see if his skin was as soft as it looked...

            “Okay.” I said it abruptly, without thinking about it at all. “I’ll practice this week alright? It has to be perfect, so give me at least until Friday.”

            He frowned me, touching my shoulder gently. “I’m going to think that it’s beautiful no matter what, Levi.”

            My eyes widened as I met his gaze. He was touching me and he’d said my name for the first time and oh my God I was already starting to snap. This wasn’t good. _Change the topic before you kiss him._ He was staring at me with his big green eyes, his lips parting ever so slightly as his gaze fell to mine. He definitely, definitely wanted it just as badly as I did and there was no way I could give it to him.

            Clearing my throat, I asked, “You’re an art student, right? Don’t you have a lot of homework? We should probably get going.”

            He pulled away, looking like a wilted flower. _Eren, I can’t do this to you. I can’t take advantage of you so quickly. You’re too important._

            I reached over, ruffling his hair. It was just as silky as I remembered. “Hey, look at me,” I murmured. He did, blinking expectantly, disappointment still clear in his eyes. “You’re working tomorrow, right? Let’s see each other.”

            Those soft lips that I loved so much curved up at the corners. I sighed in relief, and then pulled him into me impulsively. He froze for a fraction of a second before holding me tightly, burying his face in my shoulder.

            “Thank you,” he murmured. “You didn’t have to be this nice to me. You could have called me a freak when I told you that you felt strangely familiar. But you didn’t. You’ve been so nice to me. Thank you.”

            I pulled back slightly to kiss his forehead. I saw his blush before he nuzzled my chest affectionately. “I can’t be mean to you. I’m mean to everyone else, but never _you._ ”

            I stroked his hair as I whispered more reassuring things, feeling his uneasiness. The way that one of his hands gripped my arm told me more than enough. It had to be confusing for him, to know and like a complete stranger. Maybe... I felt my heart flutter as I thought this... He was falling in love with me.

I could only hope that he might need me as much as I needed him.

 

_**Eren**_

 

            I was starting to notice things about Levi. His broad shoulders. His defined collarbones. The muscles in his arms. The way he looked in a coat. The tightness of his shirts and jeans. His smirk. The way his gray eyes lit up when he smiled. The way his shoulders flexed when he took off his suit jacket...

            My thoughts about him were starting to become less... Innocent at times. And that was amplified the moment that he stepped into the dance studio, wearing only a pair of tight black sweatpants.

And he was _perfect_. My heart skipped a beat as I eyed his toned chest and lean, muscled arms. He looked more intense than usual. No smiles today. The first thing he said was, “I’m nervous.”

After a few quiet reassurances, I played the music, and he began.

And it was beautiful. His movements were precise and fluid, his flexibility consistently astonishing me. He twirled through the air like it was nothing, completely and utterly in tune with the music. His eyes closed at times, eyebrows furrowing. He looked so focused, so passionate about his dancing.

The piano resonating in my ears along with the sight of him dancing like the world was ending was enough to move me to tears. I sat there watching, eyes burning with tears, until the song ended.

He kept his eyes closed for a moment, and I watched his trembling hands. I stood, also slightly shaking, moving to him quietly. His eyes snapped open when I was halfway there, taking in the tears in my eyes and my earnest expression.

And he grinned, letting out a huge sigh of relief. “I thought I was going to mess up so badly. You made me-”

I took his hands, cutting him off. “That was beautiful, Levi. Your dancing is _stunning._ You’re the most graceful dancer I’ve ever seen, your movements just seem to flow, and your expressions...” I shook my head in amazement, watching the surprise in his gray eyes. “You’re breathtaking.”

Levi blushed lightly, eyes widening. He refused to meet my gaze, tugging at his ear. “I haven’t practiced in a while, I’ll be better next time,” he mumbled.

“Oh, learn how to take a compliment,” I teased, nudging him playfully with my shoulder.

He fidgeted, scowling up at me. “How do normal people respond to being called breathtaking? I can’t just say _thanks_ , it actually meant something to me.”

He broke away from me then, yanking his button down off of the radio and slipping it on. I watched his arms flex, and the way that he straightened his collar. Before buttoning it up, he paused, turning fluidly on his heel and gazing at me. “What are you looking at?”

 _Oh God he knows that I’ve been staring at him. Oh God Oh God Oh God._ My face was turning beet red, I was absolutely sure. “Sorry, I just-”

Levi’s mouth curved up into the tiniest smirk before he said, “No, I’m asking a legitimate question. Show me where you’re looking.”

How did he manage to sound so seductive without even trying? I took a few steps closer to him, drawn to the beautiful tone of his voice. His head tilted slightly as I stood right behind him.

“Your arms,” I whispered, reaching forward and gently tracing his collarbones, his shoulders. My hands ghosted over his chest and came back to his neck, brushing against the soft skin gently, and he shivered. That’s when all of my self control vanished. “Are you sensitive there?”

He tried to turn and glare, but couldn’t quite manage when I pressed against him and kissed his neck, teasing the soft skin with my tongue before grazing it with my teeth.

Levi whirled around, grabbing my collar and yanking me against him forcefully. Our noses brushed. “Don’t get cocky,” he murmured, his eyes shining with lust. He kissed me hard on the mouth, shoving me against the wall with a low moan.

            And then I was completely lost in sensation and desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to explain something. As I was writing this, I kept worrying about them moving too quickly, but then I kind of put myself into their shoes. Eren, of course, is a college boy-- So naturally, he'll have a lot of hormones. He isn't a virgin, and neither is Levi.   
> But it's not really about sex for them. Obviously they have a lot of desire for each other, but Eren simply KNOWS that this is the man he's going to be with forever. Even though he doesn't have memories, he has feelings. I don't think he realizes this, since he's falling in love with Levi present day- but he still holds the past love. Levi feels familiar to him in every way, not just in the way that's like, "Hey, have I seen you before?" It's basically like talking to an old friend, for him. He knows that something is off with this, but he also knows that he can trust Levi.  
> As for Levi, this is someone that he's been yearning for, for quite some time. He's still learning about artist Eren, but he's sincerely falling for him. It isn't a disrespectful thing, like he's constantly thinking about the past. He's learning this new Eren in every way, if that makes sense. I'll repeat myself and say that it's not just about lust.   
> I am also insatiable and I have no patience, especially when it comes to these two.  
> One last thing: I'm sorry to kind of leave you hanging on that smut... I'm seriously incapable of writing it. I hope you understand. Imagination is a powerful thing: Use it. (That's what I did.) Thanks for reading this! Sorry for the crazy long end note!


	6. A Delicate Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren talk some things over. Levi still has some inner demons, but they're going to be confronted next chapter!

_***Levi***_

I wanted this to be a nightmare. There was no way I could ever be this thoughtless and impulsive. But it wasn’t. I’d taken Eren to my room and gone way farther with him than I should have. He slept beside me, tangled in the covers, and his tanned skin was dusted with red marks, illuminated further by the light spilling from the window. I was clothed. All I could do was sit and watch him. I couldn’t bear to leave.  He was beautiful and pure and all I ever did was taint that.

I hated myself for taking advantage of him. Did he even want this, or was he just attracted to me? He was a teenager after all, he had a lot of hormones.  I didn’t want him to just desire me; I wanted him to _love_ me. I shoved him, not bothering to be gentle. “Wake up.”

His beautiful eyes blinked open, blearily taking in his surroundings. When he made eye contact with me, he smiled. Like an angel. Like he loved me. Like I hadn’t just horribly messed up our relationship.

“Good morning,” he whispered, his voice perfectly sleepy.

I couldn’t look him in the eye. Emotions were welling in my chest, threatening to burn in my eyes. Anxiety, betrayal, anguish. I felt sick.

“Levi, what’s wrong?” I heard Eren stir beside me. His hand touched my shoulder, warm and comforting. The tears welled in my eyes. I wiped them away angrily.

He pulled my chin towards him, forcing me to meet his eyes. They were wide with concern, his lips parted gently. “Why are you crying?”

I allowed myself to relax into his touch, turning to face him. He threw his arms around me instantly, pulling me tightly to his chest. His long, graceful fingers combed through my hair soothingly. “It’s alright,” he murmured to me as I cried, finally letting out every conflicting emotion I had.

“I can’t do this to you. You’re too special.”

Eren pulled back an inch, caressing my jawline gently. “What do you mean? I don’t regret anything.”

How could he feel this way? He didn’t remember _anything._ “I’m too selfish with you.” I buried my face in his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of him. “You don’t even know me. You could be meant for someone else in this life, and I just...”

“Shhh,” he breathed, trailing his fingers down my neck. I shivered. “You’re right. I _don’t_ know you that well, on the surface. I don’t know your interests or where you came from or even the details of what you do for a living. But I know the way you look away when you blush, and the way that you tug on your ears when you’re embarrassed. I know the way that you tap your fingers when you’re concentrating, and the way that you try hard to please everyone, even though you won’t admit it. You don’t like messy things and you can’t stand it when your hands get wet. When you’re upset, you brood rather than cry, so sometimes you’re perceived as heartless. You’re quiet when you’re thinking and when you’re sad. You don’t like noisy people. Even though you told me differently, I know you like realistic art. I know that you lose yourself when you dance, and that’s when you’re most relaxed and at peace with yourself. You obsess over tiny details; that’s what makes you so good at dance and martial arts, and that’s what makes you anxious and self conscious at times. You bite your lip when you’re trying to control yourself. I know so many things about you, Levi. And I don’t know how, or why. I don’t care. I just know that I couldn’t walk away from you if I tried.”

He tilted my chin up, leaning back to look me in the eye. I could hardly breathe. “I want to  fall in love with you again.”

What did I ever do to deserve him? I hugged him as tightly as I could, showering his neck with kisses. “Let’s do it the right way this time.”

Eren sighed contently, leaning into my kisses. “You can’t tease me, you know. I don’t have that much self control.”

I smirked, bumping my hips against his. “I can see that.”

“Aah...” His cheeks bloomed with color. “You can’t _do_ that...”

Oh God. He was absolutely beautiful. And basically naked. I bit my lip, and it was Eren’s turn to smirk. And then the bastard bit my neck. “Alright, alright,” I grumbled, pushing him away. “We can at least _kiss_. If you brush your teeth first.”

I hopped off of him, gesturing to the bathroom with a mockingly stern expression. He raised an eyebrow, flinging the sheets off of himself and walking to the bathroom. In only boxers. Before he stepped in, he turned and winked at me.

I stared at the wall, trying not to think about his broad shoulders or the way that he looked when his face was flushed. I couldn’t think about his long, beautiful legs, or the way that his green eyes shone with desire, and _especially_ not the way that he had effortlessly carried me through the house when I wrapped my legs around him. How did he have muscles anyways? Stupid Eren and his stupid toned body.

“I brushed my teeth. You owe me a kiss.” He leaned against the doorframe, hair mussed and a tiny smile playing at his lips.

I gave him that kiss. And nearly broke the wall doing it.

 

    _***Eren***_

   

I was falling effortlessly in love with Levi, and not just because of his beautiful body. I fell more and more with every little smile, teasing wink, soft kiss. He wasn’t one to express his emotions to anybody, and I felt selfishly happy every time he relied on me.

I was starting to see the more playful sides of him; one day he came in for coffee and kissed me quickly without any warning, right on the lips, and then proceeded to order as if nothing happened. The moment he didn’t have to speak anymore, he grinned, and then laughed at my stunned expression. His laugh was the most beautiful sound I’d heard in my life.

But nights like tonight were often my favorite, the nights spent in his apartment, sitting on his bed and staying up late talking.

“Would you rather skydive or scubadive?”

He pondered that for a few moments, fiddling with the bottom of his pajama pants. “Probably skydive. If I ever got lost in a cave or somehow ran out of air, I’d be terrified. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer?”

“A dancer of course.” I kissed his neck affectionately, not missing his small shudder. “Wouldn’t it be fun to dance together?”

“We can, if you want.” He smiled gently. “I can teach you.”

The thought of that was humiliating. “Levi, I’m not graceful at _all,_ that would be horrible for me.”

 “Your hands are graceful.” His eyes traveled from my face and down my arms, taking in each detail. “Your anatomy is very graceful in general.”

He was always surprising me with comments like that. He seemed to notice the little things about me, just like I noticed him. It always made me feel warmer to know how much he cared. He showed it in subtle ways, but I never let them pass by me. I took his calloused, beautiful hand.

 “Everything about _you_ is graceful. Even the way you talk. You’re just... classy.”

Levi laughed a little at that, squeezing my hand. “Hanji always tells me that. I probably look cold to everyone around me. I wonder what they’d do if they found out I’m an OCD ballerina?”

“I don’t think you look cold.” I gave him a small smile. “And your OCD ballet is just part of your charm.”

He gazed at me, a strange expression on his face, like he was solving a puzzle. “What do I look like to you, if not cold?”

“Sexy.” I winked, and he attacked me playfully, pinning me to the bed.

“I’m being serious, you _brat._ ” He kissed my neck, then my collarbones, then back up to my jaw with mock aggressiveness. I could feel his smile against my skin.

I stole a kiss from him before sobering up. “The first time I saw you, you looked lost. And the few times after, before you loosened up around me... You look like you’re observing. Not in a cold, calculated way, but in the way that you’re relaxed and you’re honestly looking at everything around you.”

“No one ever sees me like that,” Levi whispered. His expression was so admiring and so pained in that moment that I knew. He’d never been accepted or understood. The world had been black and white to him, and so he accepted that and worked with it, but it wasn’t enough. He was lonely, but he never complained about it.

I pulled his face to mine, kissing him softly, and he responded fiercely. We were both out of breath when I broke away to lean his forehead against mine. “You’re so much more than cold.”

“You’re so much more than graceful,” Levi murmured, stroking my jawline absently. “Do you know how highly I think of you?”

Levi thought highly of _me?_ “No, I don’t.”

He kissed me once more before rolling off me, only to nuzzle my chest. “I don’t cry in front of people. I don’t show people my dancing, or initiate physical contact with them, or smile around them, or tease them, and I most certainly have never let anyone cuddle me. But _you_ continue to break down every wall. You inspire me in every way. I’m often disappointed in people, but you haven’t disappointed me once. There’s more than that, but I’m still working on expressing myself.” And then he yawned, like what he’d said wasn’t even remotely important. “Let’s go to bed.”

“I’ll work my hardest not to disappoint you.” I held him to me tightly, kissing his beautiful neck and shoulders. “Thank you for showing yourself to me.”

I could feel him smiling against my chest. “Like I had a choice. You’re very demanding when you want something, you know. You actually lost control once and pushed me against a wall. That was our first kiss, back then.”

It was the first time he’d talked about our past life. “Tell me more. What was it like? What jobs did we have?”

He laughed at that. “Jobs, huh? I’ll tell you all about that another day. Get some sleep, it’s almost midnight.”

“Alright...” I sighed, stretching to turn the lamp off. He traced my hipbone as I did, giving me butterflies. The moonlight shone softly in through the window, gracing his alabaster skin.

“Goodnight, Eren.” I loved my name on his lips.

“Goodnight, Levi.”

That night I dreamt of terrible monsters and a pair of beautiful silver eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always felt like Levi is really self sacrificing and doesn't take other people's actions into consideration.  
> And Eren, especially in a relationship, is respectful and will hold back if that's what his partner needs. Even though it's slowly going to drive him insane.  
> P.S. Remember that emotional familiarity I talked about last time in the End Notes? I tried to put more of that in here, in Eren's little speech to Levi.


	7. A Beautiful Contradiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi explains the past to Eren, and ends up feeling a lot more peaceful about his relationship.

_***Levi***_

 

I hadn’t had vivid dreams of Eren since we’d gotten together, but this was a strange form of agony. I dreamed of battles, but not the blood and horror around me; all I could see was him, dancing and burning and igniting the sky with his anger.

He was always so _alive,_ so determined. It rained when he cried. He kept all of us going on the days we felt like giving up. He was fiery and passionate, and I fell in love with the spark in his eyes. I wanted to speak in my dreams, tell him how much I missed him, how much I yearned for him every day, even though I _had_ him.

But I couldn’t, and it wouldn’t matter anyways. The past was the past. All I could do was dream and love.

I woke up with tears in my eyes, and I hated that, because maybe _I_ was the one that needed protecting. Maybe _I_ was the one that wasn’t truly ready for sex, and the one that was fragile. I hated myself for it, but I missed him. I missed sarcastic responses, angry kisses, poorly contained jealousy, the way that he was always looking at me, observing the slightest changes in my expression. I missed his rage. I missed it all.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face- my dark circles were _awful_ \- I watched the boy next to me sleep, his closed eyes and peaceful lips, and I knew that there were so many parts of him that I loved. His softness, his shyness, his subtle bravery, the way that he comforted and he always knew the right words to say.

The person that I was in this life needed him. I knew that, and yet here I was, an emotional wreck over the boy that I had never truly met.

“I miss you,” I whispered, grazing his soft jaw line with the side of my hand.

His eyes blinked open, startlingly green against the white of my blanket. “What do you mean?”

How long had he been awake? We stared at each other for a moment. “Since when have you been awake?”

“I woke up a while ago, but I was just resting my eyes, waiting for _you_ to wake up. I guess I kind of dozed off.” Eren’s eyes flickered from my chest to my eyes, noticing that they were glistening with tears. His tone grew softer as he murmured my name with that concerned tone of his, sitting up in alarm.

I knew it was time to tell him. “I’m alright. I just started crying in my sleep.”

He pulled my face to his, wiping the spilled tears away gently. “Something’s bothering you. What’s wrong?”

“I want to tell you about our past life.” Oh, very subtle. Way to break it to him gently.

Eren’s eyes widened slightly before narrowing. He nodded sharply, a look of similar determination in his eyes that nearly left me breathless. He took my hand. “I’m going to summarize, because I still have a lot to learn. Earth was being taken over by titans. They’re basically… Really huge, genderless humans. You and I fought against them. I was a lance corporal. They called me ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.’” I smiled a little bit, and watched his expression as it flickered between pride and nostalgia. “You were an angry thing. One of the titans attacked your mom, and it left you vengeful and determined. At one point in a war, everyone thought you had died. That was when we discovered that you could turn into titan.”

“This all sounds… Familiar,” he interrupted, his eyebrows furrowing. “Especially you being a corporal.”

Smirking, I pulled him closer to me, whispering in his ear, “I would think you’d remember that. You moaned it enough times.”

After intense blushing and a few stolen kisses, I got back on track. “You and I continued to fight, and we continued to get closer. We talked more, and spent more time together. I couldn’t stop looking at you, and noticing little things that I hadn’t before, like the light freckles on your nose and the shape of your lips. You looked at me a lot too, but you didn’t try to hide that. We started touching more, in subtle ways, and you flirted with me when we got into petty arguments. You were really jealous of Erwin-” He stiffened at the name. “Even though I wasn’t remotely attracted to him. One day you cornered me because you got so riled up, and you were really, really beautiful. You were blushing, but it wasn’t from embarrassment, and you kissed me without saying a word. Not that I minded.

We kept getting closer. I proposed to you one night, and you nearly had a heart attack. We were so happy. And then in the final battle, you saved me. It was the only time I needed saving. A titan had broken my leg, and I was trying my best to fight, but it wasn’t enough. You died doing that. I can’t get that image out of my head, of the color draining from your face, and all of that blood…”

“Shh.” He pulled me into him, rubbing my back gently. “I’m here now.”

“You are and you’re not.” I pulled back an inch, resting my forehead against his. “You were so angry and so passionate back then. Bold and confident, too. You were annoying and you rushed into things without thinking about them. That’s why… I miss you. Even though I’m falling in love with you now, it’s hard to let all of that history go. I want you to remember _so badly,_ Eren.”

Eren stroked my hair in that reassuring way of his. “It’s already starting. Last night I had dreams of titans, and the first time I saw you. It’s a little bit fuzzy but you were beautiful, Levi. God, you were like an angel.”

I shook my head. “I was a killer.”

“A beautiful one.” He paused for a moment, and then forced me to meet his eyes. “You know, I still have a quick temper. I’m still passionate and determined. People said that I could get into this college, and I worked really hard to prove them wrong. That soldier… Is still _in_ me, somewhere.”

I tried not to get distracted by the thought of him annoyed. I never, ever thought I would miss it. “You don’t have to be just like him. I’m different too, you know. This is who we are, free from all of the angst and tragedy in that life. And I like that. I like _you_.”

He gave me that angelic smile that I loved so much. “I like you, too.” His eyes sparkled with mischief as he tugged at my collar. “Something tells me you haven’t always been this soft.”

“Something tells me that you should shut up,” I returned, but I couldn’t help but smile as he wrinkled his nose at me. “You’re right about that one. I’m still pretty stoic right now, but in our other life, I didn’t smile until you came around.”

“You _felt_ though.” He took my hand and squeezed it. “I know you did. You felt more than any of us, you just didn’t always show it.”

That’s what broke all of those lingering walls. I nearly sighed in relief. _Eren._ He just _got_ me, no matter what, even if I shouted at him. He always got me to break down and let it out, holding me and whispering sweet things until I calmed down. “I _love_ that about you.”

He trailed kisses down my neck, softly and sweetly, unbuttoning my shirt almost fully before pausing at my collarbone. “Tell me more about this Erwin.”

I almost whined. What was this kid doing to me? Didn’t he know by now that my neck was sensitive? I shifted onto his lap, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. “I don’t want to talk…”

Eren blushed, taking in the look on my face. He shifted uncomfortably, his eyes flickering around the room. “I told you, you can’t tease me, Levi.”

“I’m not teasing. I’m ready now.” I gazed at his tousled hair, flushed cheeks, sleepy eyes, and wrinkled shirt. Why did his sweetness turn me on so much?

Eren took a deep breath, his eyes wide, observing me the same way I was looking at him. He kissed me then, passionately and angrily, and I knew how much he had been holding back. To see him lose control was dead sexy.

I pushed him down, ravaging his lips while my hands roamed over his body. He was the one to break away, breathing heavily. It was already too much, but then he whined, “Corporal…”

And it took my breath away to see him panting, his hair tangled and his eyes clouded with lust, with that name on his lips. It felt surreal, and it hit me in that moment how much I loved him. Every version of him, whether he was an angry soldier or a thoughtful artist, and all of the shades in between. “Hey, Eren-”

Of course, he had other things on his mind. “Corporal, _hurry,_ ” he protested, yanking me down to his lips again. Our bodies moved together perfectly, beautifully, as always. He was absolutely desperate today, and I couldn’t wait to-

The phone rang, breaking that train of thought. I glanced at it, not wanting to ignore a phone call, but Eren was arching his back and his little sighs and moans were driving me insane and the _damn phone rang again._

Groaning, I pulled away from him. He watched me like a betrayed puppy as I answered. I held his hand to keep some contact between us. It was Erwin, of all people. “Why are you calling me?”

There was a moment of silence on the other end. Both Hanji and Erwin were used to my personality, but being outright cold wasn’t normal. “Are you alright? You sound really breathless.”

 _Of course I sound breathless, dumbass, I was about to have_ sex. “I’m fine. Please answer quickly. I have to go soon.”

“I was just wondering about Christmas, if you wanted to spend it together like usual.” Eren, somehow managing to hear our conversation, scowled at me. I tightened my grip on his hand.  “With Hanji of course.”

There was a knowing tone to his voice, and I could just _feel_ his smirk. “I might have some other plans, but yeah. Definitely. Can I _please_ call you later? Now is really not a good time.”

“Have fun with Eren.” He was definitely, _definitely_ smirking right now.

“I hate you.” I snapped the phone shut, gazing at Eren’s face once more. He didn’t attack me immediately like I expected him to. He didn’t look irritated, but there wasn’t any happiness in those pretty eyes either.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Tell me about Erwin. I mean it this time. Don’t distract me.”

“You were the one that distracted me, with all of that neck kissing.” I let out a long sigh. “There has never been anything between Erwin and I. But you were always extremely jealous because we had to spend a lot of time together, and because we shared cigarettes. You always hated that.”

Eren grimaced at that. “Was he in love with you?”

I scoffed. Erwin, in love with _me_? No chance in hell. “He’s incredibly straight.”

“I thought _I_ was incredibly straight,” he mumbled. This kid.

“No.” I pulled him closer to me, leaning my forehead against his. It made me strangely happy to see that he still cared enough to get jealous. “I think I can prove that you are the opposite of  incredibly straight.”

And I would have, if Mikasa hadn’t called him a nanosecond later and thrown a temper tantrum about how he was never home and he needed to do more school work.

I attempted to lecture Eren, but he broke me off with kisses, murmuring, “I know,” and “don’t worry,” between them. We got pretty carried away until she called again, and then we forced ourselves to get off of the couch and put our shirts back on. Oh, he was _so_ needy and I planned on taking advantage of that the second I got a chance.

He left me with a kiss that left my lips burning, and then he was on his way. And I was falling in love with this balance between us, between my angst and his raging hormones, and the innocent love that kept us together no matter what.

I would never stop missing the boy from my dreams. As I had talked to Eren, I’d accepted that. I’d also accepted that I was falling completely in love with him all over again. Sex between us wasn’t something insignificant. It wasn’t just because of hormones, it was because we’d waited years to find each other again, even if we didn’t know it. Because he brightened my life and all I wanted was to brighten his.

It mattered to me because I knew that he was serious, and he wouldn’t run off and leave me for someone else. I knew that I would never force him to stay with me, but it was no coincidence that we’d found each other again.

And most of all, I knew that one day, his memories would return and he would run to me with open arms, and the artist and the soldier would bleed together like ink and watercolor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More clarification about Levi's sudden change of mentality: He's still going to miss soldier Eren, but he's letting that go. It occurs to him in this chapter how much he's actually fallen for this Eren, enough to be able to go farther with him and not feel guilty about it. He also sees how Eren has fallen for him. It gets into his thick skull that maybe he actually wants it for reasons other than raging hormones.   
> As for Eren, the name Erwin really bothers him and he can't seem to get his mind off of it. I have a feeling that Eren's going to be the one that holds off on sex for a little while. I've always imagined him as really sulky when he's jealous, even if he tries to hide it.   
> It's going to be really fun to write his internal dialogue next chapter. He gets kind of panicky and tries not to show it, but he's such an open book.  
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading!! :) I'll have the next chapter up soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'll try my best to update on a regular basis.  
> Also, if you want to find me on tumblr, my url is justcan-tgetaholdofit.tumblr.com :)


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